1/3

It just dawn on me that a third of my life, I have been living abroad away from home. It is a big milestone for me as I left Malaysia in hopes of pursuing a better future. Not being a Malay, not being Muslim, This has constantly being a source of frustration for me as I see opportunities slips away from me just because of my skin color. As a Malaysian Chinese, I was constantly made to felt as a 2nd class citizen. Day to day this is not obvious but policies in education and national level, it is to make me not to feel Malaysian. The lies and promises by politicians just make me puke. A change of mindset is needed for Malaysia from up to bottom where people need to understand that skin color is not an entitlement to discounts and entry tickets to university. After A levels, going to UK to study was a chance given to me to change this reality. A change to prove myself and show that I can do better than those entitled bastards that are given silver spoon by those stupid policy. I made an Oath to myself that I will work abroad and not to return to Malaysia.

Oath/誓い

Recently I just finished Kingdom Hearts 3 although I knew the plot before playing it. It was incredible playing this masterpiece as I understand this new perspective of promise. Did I kept my promise of working abroad? maybe? It will probably until I retire that I know how this turn out. Did I achieve my childhood dream of being a scientist? No, I have myself to blame for that. Did I grew for the past 9 years living abroad alone? Yeah, learning how to trust people, who to trust, ignoring racism act, my faith in God. I probably would not able to experienced these if I never left Malaysia. Having that new perspective when discussing a certain topic. I was able to widen my horizon, not seeing things on the surface but understand the deeper metaphor. The obscurity often hidden behind a thinly veiled message. The suffering behind a not so obvious smile.